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Apocolyptic Shoe Shiner

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Limbo Land Lovely Larks [May. 23rd, 2006|07:57 pm]
Apocolyptic Shoe Shiner
[mood |boredbored]
[music |Starlit - Muther]

This is Livejournal. I check this out once in awhile to see if my friends have anything interesting going on in their lives. Usually they do. Mostly I don't. And I'm sorry to inform you but there's nothing substantial to report.

However. There is a catch. You see, in my life there is a sound that hums in the back of my mind quite a bit lately. This hum vibrates and spirals around my head like a predatory snake enshrouding its victim in a death hug. But this sound doesn't kill me. At least, not yet.

This sound effects many people on a daily basis, and in all actuality, it is not a sound at all. It's just a clever metaphor that I created so you'd have something to read that might actually be somewhat interesting.

Alas, I've fucked the pooch and your attention span as well.

The sound? It's my goddamned boredom. And it's driving me crazy. Video games and masturbation can only be taken so far.

Well then. I've written something in here. I feel somewhat nullified. Or was it rectified? I don't care. I just want a pizza and some string cheese.

Or my all time favorite drink, the infamous WHITE RUSSIAN. Mmmmm...yes, I'm going to go have one now. And sure, come on over. Like I'm doing anything worthwhile anyways.
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Probably the Only Fuckumentary Out There [May. 5th, 2006|09:28 pm]
Apocolyptic Shoe Shiner
And here's the trailer. No, it's not porn. It's about that beautiful word that millions of people say everyday.

FUCK

http://www.fourletterfilm.com/trailer300.htm

(and just an interesting facet to this, Hunter S. Thompson is in the trailer. I really want to see this movie, but that's not the only reason. I mean, it's about the word "fuck", how fucking cool is that?)
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Wakka Wakka [Apr. 26th, 2006|09:03 pm]
Apocolyptic Shoe Shiner
Hi. What's going on? Really? Wow. That's amazing. What was that you say? Oh, no. I don't like shrimp. Wait, what? Oh, you meant THAT!?!? Well, hell yeah. I mean, duh. Who wouldn't.

Oh the humanity, oh oh, the humanity.

I'm not going to bed tonight. Goddamnit all anyways.
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What the fucken fuck [Mar. 3rd, 2006|01:04 am]
Apocolyptic Shoe Shiner
[mood |Fuck Work]
[music |The Hum of My Machine]

So there I was just minding my own business when this fucking weird old bastard came up to me. "You young people are fucking assholes." And he sauntered off mumbling to himself.

Well, of course us "young people" are fucking assholes when you go up to us and say that we are. You fucking freak. Goddamn, why couldn't this rock have exploded during Y2K anyways? I mean, really?

I would've been happier born into this world as a leaf or something. Shit, I'd be happy as a paperweight. The only difference between me and that is that I need sustenance, paperweights just need documents.

Speaking of documents, if anyone has heard/seen the late Mitch Hedberg(edit: I mean, have you seen/heard his comedy routine before he died, for fuck's sake), I highly recommend.

Mitch(Talking to an oscillating fan with three settings)
"Do you keep my hair in place?"

Fan:
"No."

Mitch:
"Do you keep my documents in order?"

Fan:
"No."

Mitch:
"Do you have three settings?"

Fan:
"No."

Mitch:
"Liar!"
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Iba eaga dunk dunk [Feb. 9th, 2006|09:34 pm]
Apocolyptic Shoe Shiner
goonka din sur ghad fard.
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Addiction [Jan. 28th, 2006|11:19 pm]
Apocolyptic Shoe Shiner
[music |The Faint, of course.]

I can't, for the life of me, stop listening to The Faint lately. It's not like I've not heard them before but now, there's just something that is pummeling my head to listen to them. I need variety, goddamnit. But fuck, it IS The Faint, after all.

Oh yeah. By the way. Hello. My name is Mike. And white russians are still the best thing under the sun.
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Harbinger of Peppermint and Aloe Bread [Jan. 9th, 2006|02:02 pm]
Apocolyptic Shoe Shiner
Ever feel like you've been shafted so much that when you're not shafted, you find yourself watching the movie, "Shaft"? Zee vurld eez ah strange pahlace, ya?

Korporate Karate II is, believe it or not, still in the works. HAHA! Pretty crazy shit, I tell ya.

In other news, I no longer like eating Spaghetti-O's.
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Just Because I Can... [Dec. 14th, 2005|01:07 am]
Apocolyptic Shoe Shiner
[mood |crazycrazy]

Goddamnitmotherfuckingpieceofshittyasscockbitchwhoreslutmaggottrash!

And fuck this shit!

That is all.

Have a nice day.
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What the Fuck? [Dec. 13th, 2005|02:03 am]
Apocolyptic Shoe Shiner
It's 2am. How the hell did it become 2am?

I've got so much to do, so little time. This is what happens when you find something interesting to gawk at for hours on end that you forget those pesky little things that need to be done.

I'm so fucked.
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Yo Ho, Yo Ho. [Dec. 9th, 2005|12:15 am]
Apocolyptic Shoe Shiner
Handwriting Analysis

What does your handwriting say about YOU?
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